My 2024 Reads

The Untethered Soul

“The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything” (p. 95).

In his New York Times Best Seller, Michael A. Singer navigates deep spiritual concepts like knowing who the self is, letting all energy pass through us vs. holding onto it, keeping our hearts open, letting go of what blocks infinite energy, and finding our inner equilibrium. It is both a scientific and philosophical perspective on the parts of ourselves we cannot see. This book pulls from various cultures’ spiritual concepts, including Buddhism and Christianity. He touches on how trauma can be stored energetically in the body, and how practices like meditation can anchor us.

I recommend this not as a beginner’s guide to understanding spiritual wellness, but to those who have already done some work around this topic. It can be used as an addition to any inner work we are currently doing, or to enhance a stable spiritual foundation we have built already. My review and recommendation of this work stems from what I know as a clinician and as someone who has explored spiritual wellness on a personal level.

You Are a Badass

“The trick is to let the Beginner live alongside the Expert” (p.107).

Jen Sincero’s outline of how to stop doubting our greatness and start living an awesome life is an entertaining but still impactful read. She touches on concepts such as spirituality, ego, loving self, comparison, meditation, blocking beliefs, embracing joy, staying curious, helping others, gratitude, forgiveness, letting go, rewiring faulty narratives, procrastination, fear, money…I could go on. She covers many concepts in this book and it can feel overwhelming to keep track of it all, but she ties many topics together and always comes back to the importance of learning to love self. She acknowledges where suggestions might sound cheesy and uses humor to make this a playful read even though it is about serious changes.

Each tactic she gives for accomplishing an “awesome” life is peppered with cognitive behavioral strategies and personal tales of how she overcame many of the things that can block us from greatness (whatever that looks like for you!). I don’t agree with everything she shares because some of it gets close to the line of “toxic positivity”. However, I recommend this book to anyone wanting to know more about what blocks you from goals related to the above themes, and to someone who finds reading more daunting. She breaks each chapter up with sections and guidelines to make these powerful changes feel more simple.

I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t)

“We cannot change and grow when we are in shame and we can’t use shame to change ourselves or others” (p. 265).

Dr. Brene Brown is famous for conducting research around shame, vulnerability, connection, and the antitheses to each of these topics. This book focuses mostly on her research with women, although she mentions findings about men in the final chapter. Brene Brown narrates her research results through excerpts from her qualitative interviews (while also weaving in her own life examples) , defining the difference between guilt and shame and the positive correlation between vulnerability and courage. She outlines how her findings helped her determine the elements for building shame resilience: recognizing shame and understanding our triggers, practicing critical awareness, reaching out, and speaking shame.

I recommend this book as a place to start if you are wanting to learn how to combat shame and create more feelings of belonging in your life. It paints a new picture for any assumptions we often make around combatting shame, and is a resource for adjusting harmful core beliefs around self we may have.

Everything is FCKED: A book about hope*

“To build and maintain hope, we need three things: a sense of control, a belief in the value of something, and community” (p. 19).

As you can imagine given the title, I will warn potential readers that there is graphic language and vulgar metaphors throughout. However, author Mark Manson makes this a worthwhile read with how he presents research and his own theories on hope. This is not a step-by-step guide for how to have more hope. Similar to his first book, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”, it is more of a paradoxical explanation for how to accomplish a goal.

The first half discusses concepts from human behavior/psychology such as our avoidance of uncomfortable topics, how our feeling and thinking brains interact, and how science and religion play a role in all of this. He finishes the first half by challenging us not to hope for better but to be better. The second half of the book builds on how we are wired to avoid pain, but can use human development to shift our values and learn to become what he calls “antifragile”—to embrace and become stronger in the face of pain. This is what allows us to be better and therefore not be so focused on hoping for a better future. It is a very fancy way of suggesting to be present and improve self from the inside out. I read Manson’s first book five years ago when I was in a different place in my life, so consider that when I say I liked his first book better. I’d suggest starting with the first and seeing how you feel about picking this one up!

The Fifth Agreement

“Once you completely accept what you are, you are ready to enjoy life” (p. 179).

Before you pick this book up, I suggest you read The Four Agreements first. The first half of this work is a review of the first four agreements: Be impeccable with your word, Don’t take anything personally, Don’t make assumptions, and Always do your best. However, you will benefit from getting an in depth explanation in Ruiz’s 1997 New York Time’s Best seller before you get into this one. The second half of The Fifth Agreement discusses how we can increase awareness and become the most divine, authentic version of ourselves. We do this with the first four agreements, and the fifth agreement: Be skeptical, but learn to listen. I enjoyed the depth of this work and the continued suggestion to challenge what we believe, stay open-minded, be intentional, increase awareness, and gain infinite wisdom. In my opinion the way he opens up about these topics is pretty intense…this is not a fast read! After reading the whole book I went back to the spots I bookmarked and highlighted key points just to feel like I really grabbed it all. My favorite concept is one he starts with and weaves throughout—the importance of the “symbols” we use. We need to be mindful of how untrue our and others’ language can be, and how it can cause us to compromise our integrity. When we aren’t living in truth and instead are blocked from our true authentic selves, we could miss it all.

Buddhism for busy people

“It was as though I was able to watch the unraveling of my dreams and expectations with a curious serenity, even well being” (p. 51).

This book sparked my curiosity because I thought I’d read it with ease since it is “for busy people.” Five years later (whoops), I’ve read it and I have a slight increase in understanding of Buddhist teachings (dharma), including the four noble truths, karma, and the power of meditation. I have not read many books on Buddhism so this might not be a perfect starting point for you. I suggest you consult a fellow Buddhist for the right literature to start with. Based on what I do know, this book covers many things and includes some simple practices.

Author David Michie informs readers that the essence of Buddha’s teachings are to abandon harmfulness, cultivate goodness, and subdue the mind. Michie shares about his own meditation journey and how a practice like this can acquaint the mind with virtue. Channeling virtues like compassion and selflessness can help us abandon the sources for dissatisfaction: attachment, aversion, and ignorance. Michie explains how his own experience with these practices and principles lead him to genuine happiness vs. giving into the “I’ll be happy when” trap. As someone who has subscribed to these principles myself, I recommend this book to learn more about it!

Rising Strong

“Failure can become nourishment if we are willing to get curious, show up vulnerable and human, and put rising strong into practice” (p. 214).

Brene Brown’s previous books have focused on defining/understanding shame, building shame resilience, learning to be yourself, and learning to be all in. Rising Strong focuses on her formula for falling, getting up, and trying again. She shares how her qualitative research helped her create a three part process for rising beyond shame and defeat: The Reckoning, The Rumble, The Revolution. As always, she shares examples from her interviews with others that explain what each of these three parts mean in real time. I appreciate how she continues to illustrate that we must lean into and face our discomforts vs. ignore or run and hide from them. Another favorite quote besides the one above is “Our histories are never all good or all bad, and running from the past is the surest way to be defined by it” (249). Some things are inevitable and life can be painful, but staying stuck in shame is not a given. This is the way to show up for adversity, walk through it, and come out better than when you went in.

Refuge Recovery

“Happiness is closer to the experience of acceptance and contentment than it is to pleasure. True happiness exists as the spacious and compassionate heart’s willingness to feel whatever is present” (p. 95).

I read the first couple chapters of Noah Levine’s Refuge Recovery years ago to help with a lecture. I have just now read the whole book, which outlines how the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path apply to recovery from addiction. I enjoyed using concepts such as impermanence and non-attached appreciation to understand our aversion to pain and our attachment to pleasure. Much like the Big Book of AA, the second half of this book has personal stories from recovering addicts and alcoholics who utilized this program. The Appendices are filled with meditation scripts, which can be found in audio form on https://www.refugerecovery.org/audio-meditations. I recommend the first part of this book to anyone curious about Buddhism (because it discusses how WE ALL struggle with avoiding pain and attaching to pleasure). I recommend the entire book to anyone struggling with addiction looking for a solution, and anyone already in a 12-step program but curious about a new perspective.

Overcoming distractions

“It’s less about adapting to a situation and more about creating an environment that adapts to [you]” (p. 129).

This was one of my longer “shelf sitters.” I remember reading how the first chapter is titled “you will finish this book…” and being attracted to that idea. Here we are 7 years later and I can say I’ve finished the book! It was published in 2016 and it is the only book I’ve read about ADD/ADHD, so my review might not have weight. However, I think this is a reasonable place to start if you are struggling with ADD/ADHD or are curious to learn more. Author David Greenwood shares some of his experiences being diagnosed in addition to opinions from professionals who also struggle with ADD/ADHD. This felt like a simple read where he highlights the stereotypes and symptoms of ADD/ADHD as well as how to understand it and manage it in different ways. I appreciated how he discussed medication management as an option, but provided a myriad of other ways to live successfully with ADD/ADHD. Above all, I appreciate how he shows readers that it is not some disorder to feel shame and hopelessness around, but rather something that many people experience and can manage well. I hope to do more research to find other books on this topic to recommend!

It’s OK That You’re Not OK

Coming soon…